Why I'm grateful for rejection
Every opportunity to return to the traditional journalism path I want is coming up short. Rejection is hard, but it’s also necessary to get to where we’re going.
In my last post, I talked about how the rejection I faced at my previous church showed me the importance of being in the right place. Sometimes we hear great things from God and we’re eager to do them, but our timing can look different from His.
After writing this, I got thinking about the rejection I’ve faced in my journalism career. If you’re new here, I had been working as a journalist for a major media company for over five years when I was laid off at the beginning of 2024. While it was difficult, it was the start of a new chapter of my life that led to many beautiful experiences like traveling to five countries, spending time with loved ones, and strengthening my faith.
In that time, I’ve applied for at least 50 journalism jobs, freelance gigs, and fellowships. I only interviewed for four and have not landed one. Even now, I occasionally apply for a position that looks interesting and fulfilling, though they don’t come up very often. And again, I receive a rejection email or no response at all.
I’ve faced a lot of rejection in the last year and a half. And while I’m not giving up on my passion for journalism, I am beginning to accept that perhaps my career will take a different path than I expected. It’s quite possible that all this rejection is exactly what I need to forge my own path.
Yet, that is one of the hardest things for me to comprehend. Not losing my job or being unemployed for eight months. Not living off of my savings or losing my health insurance. Not even getting a coffee shop job to pay my bills at the age of 31. None of these things phased me as much as the idea of averting the corporate ladder of a traditional, capital “J” Journalism career.
I am quite happy being a corporate girly. In fact, I love a job where I show up at an office from Monday through Friday, sit in a cushy swivel chair, type away at my computer, and as long as I do what I am told, I get paid to write. It’s not an astounding amount, but it’s a reasonable salary to live in NYC and still afford a few extras like travel and clothing. I prefer to be at a job where the future is mapped out for me: accomplish such-and-such goals in X time, then you proceed to the next level.
This is how we are conditioned throughout grade school. As long as you succeed enough times within a school year, you graduate to the next level. You don’t have to be perfect, unless you’re an overachiever and insist on getting straight A’s for the sake of ego, trauma, or an Ivy League school. But I was more of a B student — I cared a lot about my grades, but I was very aware of my weaknesses in math and science and my limitations with testing and memorization. So instead of stressing over a perfect GPA, I aimed to keep my status on the honor roll. After that, what I lacked academically I made up for by doing THE MOST in extracurriculars. In any given semester, I was in at least five clubs and student government organizations.
So you can probably see how my ability to follow rules, work hard, and be reliable transferred into the professional workforce. I like when things are laid out for me. In journalism, that usually means you get your start as an intern and pay your dues assisting editors and writing small stories. Once you graduate to a full-time reporter position, you get to pitch your own ideas and prove yourself worthy of bigger stories. Your work depends solely on your track record. If you can do the small stories, eventually your editor will trust you with the more complex ones. You continue this process for as long as it takes to become a well-respected, Pulitzer-prize-winning journalist who is paid to travel the world and investigate corruption.
At least, that’s been my version of success since graduating college. But lately God’s been tipping that notion on its head. Every opportunity to return to the traditional journalism path is coming up short. Layoffs continue and companies are struggling to navigate a new age of media. I’m not even sure if my ideal career path will exist five years from now.
And so I grapple with the possibility that I may never go back to corporate journalism.
But what does it look like to seek God’s way? Well, it starts with paying attention to not only the doors that keep closing, but also the ones that keep opening. I’ve had more freelance opportunities come up than ever before. Every week, at least one person tells me that I should start a podcast. God is constantly downloading ideas in my brain for my own content and eventually…my own media company.
My own media company. I’m sorry, WHAT?!?!
Starting a business is the very last thing I want to do right now. It’s 1,000 times harder than working for someone else — I know that because I have interviewed hundreds of entrepreneurs. Though almost every one of them told me that running a company is rewarding, many also said it was the hardest thing they’ve ever done. I am acutely aware of the trials and quite honestly, I don’t feel up to the challenge.
But if God has different plans for me, I know to listen. Granted, it will take me a while to let go of my traditional view of success with its cushy swivel chair. And I will probably still apply for 50 more journalism jobs, just to be sure. But if this is all leading to His plan, then I am grateful for rejection. Rejection is hard, but it’s also necessary to get to where we’re going.
On the other side of rejection, I have peace and hope because I’ve seen all the good things God has done in my life when I’ve put my trust in Him. The Bible promises us that God’s plans are better than ours. It also reminds us that while we may have certain plans in our minds and hearts, He has already established our steps. How comforting a reminder that I don’t need to know how God will execute this grand plan of His, but that I need only follow each step as He reveals it.
In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.
– Proverbs 16:9
PS — This blog post has exactly 1,099 words. That happens to be the IRS form that non-employee, independent contractors use to file their taxes. Coincidence?