Things I’ve learned at 32, that I wish I’d known at 22
Turning another year older has given me a resolve to be the healthiest version of myself that I can be physically, mentally, and creatively.
Two weeks ago, I turned 32…and I feel younger than ever!
I woke up on my birthday with not a single bit of dread in my bones, but filled with gratitude and resolve. I thanked God for the life He’s given me — my husband, my family, my friends, my home, my church, my neighborhood. I thanked Him for the body He’s given me — one that can run and jump and dance, legs that can walk at a New Yorker pace, and arms that can haul 40 pounds of groceries up the stairs of my second-floor apartment. I thanked Him for the streaks of gray hair on my head, signs that I’ve lived some life and have wisdom to show for it. I thanked Him for the little freckle on my bottom lip, a reminder that He’s made me different from anyone else.
Thirty-two has given me a resolve to be the healthiest version of myself that I can be physically, mentally, and creatively. I’m done wasting time on things that don’t serve me. I’m so over caring how people see me externally if they aren’t first seeing the internal me. I’ve thrown away the false promises of security, success, status, and beauty that America has fed me. From now on, I’m only following God’s definition of what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. — Philippians 4:8 (NIV)
I had wanted to publish a post on the week of my birthday, but there were so many celebrations to be had and people to see that August flew right by without a moment for me to write. But I am so very grateful for all the people who made me feel incredibly loved last month.
Yet, I didn’t want to pass up an opportunity to share some reflections and learnings from turning a year older, so I’m sharing a few now. If I could speak to myself ten years younger, I’d tell her not to stress so much about whether she was doing the right things and just focus on being the right things.
Here are 10 things I’ve learned at 32, that I wish I’d known at 22.
Not every opportunity is for you. — Just because you get a job offer or someone wants your help, it doesn’t mean it’s right for you. What might be good for someone else isn’t always good for you.
It’s okay to do less. — You do not need to cram your days with the most. Be honest with yourself about your capacity. Sleep and rest are just as important as the productive things. When I was in my early twenties, I would wake up at 5 am for work, work all day, go to the gym, then meet up with a friend for coffee or drinks, get home at 10 pm, eat dinner, watch tv, go to bed at 1 am, and then do it all again the next day. That kind of non-stop routine was exhausting and unsustainable. Now, I live at a much slower pace and have more time to be present. I’m not drinking five cups of coffee just to get through the day. I still get busy, but I listen to my limits and cancel plans without guilt to prioritize my health.
There are very few things you HAVE to do. — Although you might always feel like there are a million things to do at all times, you do have a choice. When you prioritize what’s most important to you, everything else will move to the back burner. That’s okay. There’s no need to feel guilty or stressed by the texts or emails you haven’t answered. You cannot do everything in a day, so stop trying!
Call your family. Even better, make time to visit them. — If there’s one thing I wish I did more while I had a full-time salary job, it would be visiting my family while I had unlimited PTO.
Always do the things you’ll never regret. — Go for the run. Take the trip. Go see your family. Learn something new. You’ll never regret doing these things, but there may come a day when you’ll regret not doing them.
Aging is not as horrible as the world makes it seem. — In fact, I’m learning that my thirties are pretty awesome. I don’t want to go back to my twenties. I feel more confident in my values, goals, priorities, and abilities now than ever before. I’m more sure of what is for me and what is not and that’s a freeing place to be.
Do your best to ignore the world’s beauty standards. — They’re all so unrealistic anyway, manufactured by companies that only want you to feel like you’re never enough so that you’ll continue to buy their products.
Instead, prioritize your health. — Drink plenty of water, eat vegetables, and wear sunscreen. You know those things your mother always told you? She was right. As it turns out, many of the things that are good for our insides help us stay radiant on the outside too.
Stop comparing yourself to others. — Whether it’s her style or career success, comparing yourself to another woman is only hurting you. You will find your way, but it will look different. You could try to wear the same pants, but they might be uncomfortable when you put them on. You could try to write the same types of stories, but it’s not going to be as fun. There is a good reason your mind, body, and journey are unique — because God designed you to speak to and touch specific people.
How you make people feel sticks with them a lot longer than how you look, how much money you make, or who you know. — I was recently told that I am a “non-anxious presence” and it made me think, “Wow, if that means people feel calm and safe when they are with me, that is way more important to me than being the coolest, funniest, most charismatic, or most interesting person in the room.” It made me realize that my only goals when interacting with others should be to make them feel loved, seen, heard, and safe. Sure, if we have an interesting conversation or a fun moment of laughter, those things are great too. But I want people to walk away from our interaction feeling loved and special, whether they see me the next day or never again.
Comment below if you enjoyed this post and tell me one thing you’ve learned about getting older.
